Random Ramblings

It’s funny how one’s creativity can be re-ignited with the simplest spark. A friend is starting a blog, and he asked me to look it over and edit his first post. The word flow, the author’s voice, the message all inspired me to return to my own blog and post a few musings. That was the point of his post after all: “do the thing. I’m rooting for you.”

We live in such uncertain times, as Covid-19 cases continue to rise in America and we hear whispers of returning to Level 1 “Shelter at Home” orders in California. A few weeks ago, I thought things might slowly return to normal. Cases were down, my state was slowly re-opening, and I even got my first freelance job since March. I produced a photo shoot for the first time in over a year, with some of my favorite freelancers from various past gigs and workplaces. Despite the stress and the tight deadline, I desperately needed the reminder of why I do what I do. I loved every second on set. Re-connecting with a former Photographer and Creative Director from my corporate days, a PA and a Hair & Make-up Artist from one of my freelance jobs, and a model that I’d repeatedly hired over the last four years–it felt like coming home. Home to the place where I thrive. Home to the place where I flex all of my skills with confidence. My body bemoaned spending twelve hours on my feet and wearing a bra (ugh, so uncomfortable) after three months at home, but my brain rejoiced.

It was the reset I desperately needed. Yes, the future is uncertain, especially as a freelancer in Los Angeles’ entertainment industry. But now I have the necessary perspective to charge into the unknown, while nurturing my mental and physical health as much as I can. I experienced burnout in April and May, as I powered through over fifteen different sewing projects. Then in June, it all came to a grinding halt, and I spent the past month and a half deep diving into the beautiful world of Kpop (BTS is the best! Stan Jin!).

Will this photoshoot, along with my friend’s call-to-arms, bring be back to equilibrium? Had I ever achieved equilibrium, or was I just jumping from one distraction to the next as I suffered through the Millennial condition of perpetual burnout? Only time will tell. But I’m ready to face my struggles head-on and take this time to nurture my mental health.


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